Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep……. Your kidding me its already 6.10am…. Beep Beep Beep….. Damn it……. As I ungracefully crawl from underneath the bed covers… 6.30… In the car one eye opened, the other half open, half asleep… I definitely need a cursing jar for mornings like this…. Sorry Sims Clinic, Im not too Zen’d at this time of the morning,
Well, what has me up at this ungodly hour of the morning…… Its Sims Mind Body Program day….. WOOO HOOO… I’ve been really so looking forward to the Fertility Mind Body Program with Sims…. I’ve been asked to speak in the after noon and am truly truly honoured and excited…. Well I was yesterday, not at the moment… But I’ll get there…. So double check I have our new ‘Aculife T-shirts….’ and off we go…
So final changes to my 37 slide Presentation on the train, some strong coffee and super excited… What can go wrong. For the 1st time in 10 years, I actually had my presentation completed and done 2 days before, I was determined to be soooo ready, and prepared… Unlike all those other times, that I’m up until 5am, sleep an hour grab a train. This time I was getting it right…
So arrived at the Sims clinic for noon -sh…. Looked at my slides and waited for for my slot.. I was 1st after lunch so hopefully everyone was going to be feed and relaxed from their super relaxing Yoga…. Meet with Ann Bracken, the head of the Mind Body Program with Sims, and we had a little natter before hand… During the conversation with Ann, I asked how many men were at the program, and I have to admit, I was floored by her answer, ‘Oh its half the group’ I was like what… Men never come to these things. Are you serious…. In all the years I have been working on fertility retreats I have never seen that happen. All I can say is ‘Go Ann’ what an amazing result….
So 1.45pm room is full, and Im introduced to the lovely group….. Now I don’t know what has happened, but everything goes blank, I mean seriously blank….. Seriously…. I don’t think I even know my own name.. So I think, wait, its just the first 30 seconds, this will pass… It doesn’t…. My first Mind Body with Sims, and Ive been introduced as this fertility guy from Cork….. And I’m blank… Ok I have slides, that will get me back, but hang on, back where, where do I start.. So I count to 10, take a deep breath, and relaxxxxxxx.
Its not working, its not working, its not working…… So body temperature increases, heart rate, and no, Im sweating, seriously sweating…. So for me this is like being on the top of a hill, on my brand new skate board, and I’ve no breaks, with everything going faster, faster and faster…. I look around and I absolutely know, I have lost the group, and I know they now, that I know, that we both know…. Im a train with no breaks. I can’t slow down, and Im now like a runaway train, talking too fast, not looking at the audience, and maybe 9-10 minutes into my speech…. I am so ready to cry, I want to cry…. Im the expert here…. And then…. this slide comes up…. And all I say is….
Guys do you see this slide, this is how I feel right now. Im sweating, Im stressed, Im not thinking straight. And I really would like a minute to get myself together…….. Now at this stage, something I didn’t expect, the most amazing understanding and empathy from the group….. They are calming me down… My heart stops racing, I can breath again…. OK, IM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And all I say is Guys, OK, now you have just seen what stress can do to someone, lets start this whole thing again….. So I start again……. 🙂 by the way this is slide number 28 of 37 slides……
The next 50 minutes is definitely not how I had it planned, and its definitely not the first 10 minutes of hell I went through, but its interesting, I now have a little golden nugget of realisation…. A true understanding of uncontrollable stress, lack of control and an immediate need for wanting to run…. Now please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to ever compare my 10 minutes of madness to anything that my patients experience daily if not hourly on their journey, but that was some curve ball for me… Im normally, in control of the situation, its my clinic, I have the experience and knowledge.. I know this stuff inside out… What the hell happened…
So I learnt something really valuable to me, and I hope those attending the ‘Mind Body Program’ learnt something from me. Im definitely having a strong drink tonight when I get off the train…..
Thanks so much to Ann Bracken of Sims, the brave ladies and gents that attended the mind program, I am in awe of you guys and what you do to make your dream come through. I hope to see ye all again…..(and hopefully get invited back…)